Fat Mommy to Fit Mommy

as I suspected - 249. no change.

I'm not happy about it. I've never gone a week with no change before while doing this. And I can't figure out if it's because a) I'm eating too much (2100 calories - my average - feels like a LOT compared to 1600) or b) I'm not eating enough.

Either way, I'm not happy. It's been hard work to eat this healthy. I try and tell myself that it's doing me good whether I lose weight or not, but that's a hard sell when your ass looks like two over-inflated beach balls.

Today I'm supposed to meet with J to work out. I'm actually sort of dreading it, which is new to me. I normally love to work out with trainers. So maybe it is time to change.

So, tell me people, where's the fun in life now? I quit smoking (17 months and counting), rarely drink anymore (it makes me want to smoke), and now I can't even eat terrible, tasty food. Sigh.

Also - I'm feeling like crap because I didn't even meet J's goal. I didn't get in another swim or another walk this week. No time! This week Ian was working 4 out of the 7 days (plus one full day of sleeping added to that). With Luci not napping during the day much, it's super-hard to do this! I could have gone swimming at 7am this morning, but the kids were up with nightmares last night (blasted lightening) and I didn't get to sleep until close to 3, only to awakened at 4 for a feeding that lasted an hour. So, no go.

It also feels like J has little-to-no confidence in me. I'm just another fat housewife. The fact is, asking me to do 2 walks and 2 swims in one week is a cop-out for me. I can (when I have the time) do so much more than that.

Time to change. God willing, this week will bring better results.